Articles Published in 2004
Puns a Plenty

 Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
 
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
 
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.

Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
 
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
 
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
 
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
 
I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
 
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
 
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
 
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome.
 
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Banning the bra was a big flop.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
 
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
 
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
 
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Without geometry, life is pointless.
 
When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
 
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
 
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

Copyright © June 1, 2004 by Unknown


Linn Shuttle, serving Linn County, Oregon
  Linn Shuttle and Sweet Home Senior Center
  880 18th Avenue · PO Box 803 
  Sweet Home, Oregon 97386
  Phone: 541-367-4775 ·
Contact Us

Website Developed by The Digital Diva

All material and graphics on this site are ©2002-2010 by Linn Shuttle, Sweet Home, Oregon, and Sweet Home Senior Center. All Rights Reserved.
You may download or print one or more pages on this website for your private, noncommercial use only.